I have thought and thought about what my opening post should be. My profile explains the reason for this blog so I don't feel the need to dwell on that. But as I was writing this morning I began to realize how much of my life has been lived in fear. As far back as I can remember there has been fear in my life. A fear of failing to do what I was told. A fear of failing in school. A fear of not being nice, of being bad or not behaving properly. A fear of making my parents angry. A fear of making anyone angry. A fear of trying anything knew because I did not know what to expect. A fear of failure. Many of these fears have carried over into my life as an adult. In some ways fear has crippled my life. Fear has kept me from doing things that I want to do. I was trained at an early age to obey or fear the consequences. I lived in fear of people finding out the 'secret' of my childhood. Little did I know that many people knew of or suspected the abuse that went on behind closed doors. There are many of us that carry our 'secret' in fear of others knowing the unwarranted shame that we feel.
I do not write this because I am celebrating the abuse that occurred. I write because abuse is something that can be prevented. Until people are willing to be open and honest about the physical, sexual, emotional abuse that occurs in many families, there will be a certain amount of shame carried by the victims. Until a person can stand and say this is what happened, this is why I am the way I am, there can not be a change in life long patterns. We, as Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse no longer have to hang our heads and live a life of shame and fear. We can move on to becoming THRIVORS, putting the fears behind us and moving forward in a new pattern of responses to what life brings our way. We CAN learn to change the way we respond to the stressors of life and we can teach those around us how to move forward. Grieve the past, mourn what was and was not and then move forward beyond the fear into a healthy lifestyle and environment. Learn to face each new day with joy and surprise at what life has to offer. I can't wait to wake up in the morning and see what the day will bring!!
I hope there will be victims and survivors and THRIVORS that will feel free to share their stories; willing to share how they have overcome the affects that abuse has had on their lives. Posts can be done anonymously if that is what you prefer.
